I love you

"Me and God were talking again today, and He told me something wonderful about what it means to really love you. 
I realized that:
It isn't about the things you do for me, or the place that you have in my life now or in the future, but rather being able to encourage you (the one person I wish most of all to see shine with the glory of God) to seek God's desire for you, and to help you get to the place He is leading you. It isn't about who you are for me, it is loving you for who you are for God. It's about being there and doing everything in me to come to your side and help you. Not to have you wait on me and serve me, but to help you wait on and serve God. This life, and this love we share; it isn't about us or how we can better serve each other, but rather, how we can better serve God together...

God and I had a pretty deep conversation. I was kind of taken aback by the reality of what it really means to love you and to help you. It isn't about me at all...in any way...it is about you and helping you succeed for God... "


The more I think about what it means to truly love someone the more humbled I feel. I am ashamed to look at myself and see how often I have so thoughtlessly disregard what that means. I say a thousand times 'I love you', but so much more often then not, my actions are not standing up in those words. I can't possibly count the number of times I have told myself, 'love is not about you', and yet I still allow those selfish thoughts and emotions to override the truth of real 'God love'.  God doesn't love us because of anything we do, or anything we say, and when we aren't acting our part in our relationship between God and us, He doesn't stop loving us, He doesn't find some excuse or reason to hold a grudge against us. Why is it that so often I think 'well God is God, He understands why I do and say the things I do, He knows I can't be perfect however hard I try,' but I don't hold myself accountable to hold other people in that same light. I think 'they should know better than to say or do that, or to not say or do something'. I think that I have the right to be offended and hurt and to hold a grudge against them. It so often about how they treat me or make me feel. But aren't they just as human as I? And aren't the same mistakes that they are making with me -the ones that they should know better then to do- the same ones I am making in my relationship with God? And yet He still forgives me and loves me...
God is not selfish, if He was then we would have no life, no hope of being saved. 


Why do I think I have the right to be concerned about the way things people do and say effect me? Why do I think I have any right to assume that anyone owes me anything? 


If I truly love someone-that can be anyone; my husband, my mother or father, my brothers and sisters, friends and even strangers- then I should be more concerned about how what I am doing effects them and how I can help them. Love is not about what you receive, I think it more so about what you give. God gave everything, why I should I only give part? 


I have prayed a thousand times, 'God teach me how to love like you do, show me what that means.' He shows me and maybe it means something for a day, but I am so quickly sucked into this world and my sinful flesh that I quickly forget again. And I lose sight of what it means to love someone. 


I think if I can go into any relationship whether, friend, sister, daughter, or wife with the objective to serve them and to help them be their best and do their best for God, how can I wrong? If I am constantly doing everything in me to serve and to give, because I love them, then how is it, that, it easy to get so wrapped up in myself and the way things effect me? 


I want to love you the way God loves you and the way God loves me. I want to come to your side, not expecting anything from you, but to simply pour myself out for you. I want to give until there is nothing left to give. 


I want to love like God does. 


I want you to be all you can for God, not for me or for anyone else. 


I want to love you the way God desires you to be loved.