Though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death

         I close my eyes afraid to see the chaos of the world about my little head. I like to think of myself as strong in my Lord and faithfully unswerving in my trust in Him and His plans for me. I like to believe that my heart is whole and giving everything it is to it’s creator and the life that I live everyday. But tonight as I sit on my little chair, hard and cold, I realize how weak, unfaithful and broken I am. I am like a child shivering in the cold night, too terrified to move, lost in a big world, wondering where I am and how I came to this place so cold and hungry, longing so desperately for a tender word, a loving hand, a cradling safe place.  All around me strange shadows close in; mysterious monsters waiting for me to fall into their traps which lay in wait for an unsuspecting child, such as myself. Everything which was once familiar and safe, darkness invaded claiming it as it’s own, or so it seems in my childlike eyes. If ever there was a valley so shadowed and evil, this world I walk in everyday would be the darkest and vilest of them all. I am simply a child wondering, lost, void of any sense of direction, understanding, and hope. I am child weak, broken and in desperate need of my God. 

My heart so desperately wants to demand an explanation from God. I want Him to tell me why I am here, why I can’t understand, what good He could possibly be doing in me, and how this would be helping reach the people of this world. I want to know why things continue to exceed in tribulation and trails, when I have given everything I have to God. Why hasn’t any good come yet? How much longer do I have to walk through this before His blessings extend upon me? Yet, though these thoughts intrude upon my heart, there is a part of me even deeper than my heart; for my soul knows that God need not give any sort of explanation. He is God, and I am simply dust in the wind, here simply because He spoke my name, and breathed into me. Someone once told me that God promised two things after Jesus came and died for us. The first promise being that through Jesus’ sacrifice we have eternal life in God and will someday rest in heaven with Him, the Second; simply that we would have tribulations and trials; things which would test us, prove us, simply because we are the children of God. 

God owes me nothing in this world. He already given me something which I will never be able to repay. This Valley that I walk, cold and scared, is not supposed to be easy. I knew that when I first began down that narrow road, so I why do I question God’s will for me today? Perhaps my life will be a continual battle, and a nerve racking journey, but someday, whether on earth or in heaven, I will find peace and rest in Jesus. 

I am not ashamed to admit that I am truly terrified of this road that I’m walking down. I am falling down, stumbling blindly, but I am not alone. God is my strength. No matter what tomorrow holds, my heart must hold on to the name of my Lord. 

‘Though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death I will fear no evil for You are with me.’